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I don't watch the news nor read the newspaper or even look at online news sites yet I'm aware of what is going on in the world on a big level. If you notice the headlines (and I'm sure you have) they are filled with 'The Bad News', horrifying bold words of chaos, tragedy and controversy usually accompanied by some graphic image or explosion. And here's the crazy part...for some reason people revel * in spreading that bad news to others. It's pandemic **.
I'm confronted everyday with people saying things like "Hey did you hear about such and such?" or "Oh my god you're never going to believe what happen to so and so...it's horrible!" or my favorite 'THEY say that...'"
I stop that kind of talking dead in it's tracks. I just don't want it around me, it does nothing to help me or those around me and who the heck are the THEY anyway? There usually is no THEY and when you start looking into it..the information you ended up hearing has little to do with the truth of the situation.
It's like the old game of 'Telephone' where someone whispers a sentence in the ear of one person and then they whisper that same sentence in the ear of the person next to them and so on down the line. By the time it reaches the last person in line that sentence has been changed and is not the same sentence the first person started with at the begining. The communication has been altered along the line. Same thing with "THEY" to the point where no one can actually tell you who THEY actually is or are.
Controversy sells, at least that's what the old line says. For some odd reason people would rather share The Bad News rather than The Good News. And trust me when I say there IS a TON of good news out there. I would venture to say more good news than bad news.
Here's the reason I don't allow that kind of thing in my life. Trust me...I don't look at the world through rose colored glasses but I don't have time for the negativity in life. There is so much to do, so much to live for and work for and enjoy in life and my goal is to help, to try and make positive change and all of that negative gossip and bad news will not do anything toward making that goal a reality. In fact, I think its purpose is just the opposite, to suppress, create fear and in the end control.
All I have to say is remember Y2K? Take a look at another example (random names used below).
Let's say you're talking with your friend Mary about a new job you're about to embark upon, you're excited and eager as this job is a wonderful opportunity for you. Mary responds to your great news with this;
"You know I used to work there. Oh my god, did that guy Sam interview you? Sam is the supervisor and he's a JERK. He's a tyrant and a task master. NO ONE LIKES him. It's why I left the company...just beware of him."
After these words from Mary you're left with questions. You've only spent a few minutes with Sam yet he seemed pretty cool and the other people in the room seemed to like him as well. Is this guy going to ruin you're great new job? Have you made the right choice in working for this company if they hire someone like Sam to run things? How can this be? You're left in doubt.
Here's the reality of this statement. You don't really know Sam and as such, other then the few minutes you spent talking with him in your interview, you have no idea what he's like at all. All you know is what Mary thinks of Sam and moreover you have no idea about what actually happened to Mary while she was working there.
For all you know Sam could be a totally awesome dude and a great guy to work for and maybe it was Mary who didn't pull her weight when she worked for the company. So after many conversations with Sam about her job, the company finally had to let Mary go for lack of production or some other reason.
It might have had NOTHING to do with Sam at all and everything to do with Mary. Rather than congratulate you on the good news in your life, Mary cuts it down and shares The Bad News. All she was doing was spreading gossip based upon her experience with the situation.
In fact I find this to be the case more often than not. When someone gossips or tells "stories out of school" about someone or something, they are usually trying to justify something to themselves. And oftentimes it's that game of 'Telephone' all over again. The information being spread is usually not coming from the source, it's almost always altered and has very little to do with the truth of the real situation.
So why talk about it? Why diminish someone else? Why gossip about them or it? It makes no sense whatsoever other than to make the person gossiping feel more important or "better than" the other person or situation.
And THIS is what I meant by 'suppress, depress and control. If Mary could not succeed in her job then others should not succeed either. Mary's fear...that you might discover that she was fired for poor performance or some unsavory activity. So by preempting your experience with her "truth" she is, in effect, tying to control you by making you believe what she wants you to feel. Same goes true for newspaper headlines and such.
I can't tell you how many times in life I've been "forewarned" about someone or some situation only to find that the foreboding information I given bore little resemblance to what I was actually experiencing. And here's the crazy part...I DIDN'T EVEN ASK for the information ("advice") to being with.
I have no time for this stuff in my life. I'd rather get to know the person or situation on my own and decide what I feel about them or it and then make my decisions based on my own experiences and truths.
In the end always default to finding out for myself. I only know something is real for me if I experience it myself and if I learn about it myself, otherwise I'm just going on someone else's viewpoint, which to them might be valid but has no bearing on my personal experience as I've not yet lived it.
When it comes to opinions that are filled with gossip and The Bad News...they don't enter my life. And when it gets to a point where the negative words keep flying no matter what I do...I just walk away and remove myself from the situation.
Look, I know this is hard to deal with sometimes. Heck, we all do it to one degree or another, telling little white lies or a bit of "gossip" but the more we become aware of our own actions and our own responsibility, the better we can deal with The Bad News people in our lives.
In the end it's about responsibility and how we deal with it. We are responsible for our own lives and no matter how much we "blame" someone else or some other thing for our predicament, the truth is...it's we who got ourselves there.
Look for the positive, share good news with sincerity and remove The Bad News from your life. Remember the blog post The Wrong Kind Of People I wrote a couple of weeks back. These two topics tend to go hand in hand.
There will be more of these blog coming in the future and I'm going to focus some materials on success in the work place and the effort and drive it takes to achieve your goals. I encourage you to sign up for the Free James Barbour Newsletter as there will be special offers going out to newsletter subscribers. You can click below to join...it's free.
Thanks so much for sharing your time with me here.
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By the way, here's a book I've read many times by best New York Times Best Selling author Grant Cardone. It's called the 10X Rule. You can click that link to get it. I have the audio version as well. This has gone a long way to keep me focused and motivated.
** [pan-dem-ik], adjective
1. 2. .)